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[24 Jun 2003|07:45pm] |
James did something really cool with his papers today. He's just so good about transfiguration. I'm really jealous of him. And he's so good at Quidditch, too. I really wish I had the talent and wit and skills of James Potter.
[Private]
Severus and I still haven't spoken. I'm getting worried. I hope that he's not going to stay angry at me. I hope that we'll end up talking.
Some fourth year told me that I'm always following James and Sirius around, and that it's sickening and makes me look like I don't have a personality of my own. Do I really do that? I don't, do I? I can think for myself. The boy insinuated I couldn't. I can make my own decisions. I don't need James Potter or Sirius Black to tell me what to think. I don't need them to admire, though I do admire them. I don't follow them around. I'm not their pet. That boy was just... wrong.
[/Private]
((OOC: I'm trying to work with the new personality bits introduced by OotP. Peter is still going to maintain his friendship with Meg. Nothing's really going to change about his relationships. He's just going to act, err, different.
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[11 Jun 2003|01:46pm] |
[Private]Holy fucking shit. I just kissed Slatero. Twice. Consciously the second time.
I'm so sorry Severus. You hate me anyway. I'm so sorry I shagged that whorish Yasmine in the first place. I'm sorry. I'm sorry...
[/Private]
Today is very very sunny. Unusually sunny. I suspect suspicious activities as the cause. Anybody else agree?
I should go study for the Transfigurations test. I know it's a few weeks away, but I've really been seized by the urge to learn my incantations and switchations well.
I ran into Slatero today. We talked.
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[09 Jun 2003|12:15pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 disappointed |
] |
I just got an owl from Mum. She and Dad have gotten some sort of vacation dreamed up, and they're going on it during Christmas hols. They wanted to know whether it was alright with me to be staying here, at Hogwarts. Of course it's not bloody alright. I don't think anybody else in the year is staying, and anyway, I'm tired of this sodding castle, filled with teachers.
I want to go home.
Hands up, now, who else is here for the holidays?
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[07 Jun 2003|12:09am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 amused |
] |
I think that I may hate ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) proserpentina. It's nothing personal. Just this dull aching feeling of loathing. I hope you don't mind, or anything.
I saw boobies today. Heehee. Sirius would be proud of me. Too bad I don't like girls I didn't have a party in my pants about it. Though, really. making Meg show me her boobs was a rotten thing of you to do, even if it was just a game.
[Private: Yazz]
You told Meg? How long ago? Why didn't you tell me you told her? Do you even remember telling her, or were you just that sloshed? Did you end up shagging her, too?[/private]
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[03 Jun 2003|09:13pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 scared |
] |
I shouldn't feel this way about Severus. Shouldn't want to connect with him. Shouldn't want more than physicality. Shouldn't want to throw in the emotions and get mixed up in a mess of hate or love or heat. But I do.
And it's wrong, wrong, wrong. And I should never have allowed this all to start up again. But it has. And I don't think that I can mend it.
Oh, bloody hell. I need to change my robes.
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[27 May 2003|12:52am] |
| [ |
mood |
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happy |
] |
The year suddenly isn't looking so menacing. I'm having a fine time with my schoolwork, surprisingly little stress, and even enjoying the company of some people because of it that I wouldn't normally talk to. And I was dreading coming back to school and having to speak to, or at least see, Severus and Yazz, but I'm enjoying it, really, now that I'm here.
[Private]This all, of course, is because I'm all of a sudden... alive again, because Severus has returned to my life and I've missed him so much and haven't told anybody just why I've been so mopey. But no more. He doesn't hate me. He wants to be with me. He doesn't want to be away from me, secluded. He wants me.[/strike]
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[01 May 2003|11:25pm] |
Oh my god, we go back tomorrow.
I'll have to see everybody. Everybody.
I could really use something to make it all go away... something like alcohol. A good serving of alcohol. Served well enough to make me forget all of last week, maybe I can forget again for just a night.
Crap.
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[27 Apr 2003|01:25am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 confused |
] |
It's really weird... the other day, I woke up in a park, and can't remember what happened all of the week before... most of it, at least.
[private:]
I remember one thing. Leaving Severus' place. For good. Oh, God, I bet I tried to go over there to throw myself at him, or something, and passed out... oh, God
[/private]
...I seem to have school supplies, though.
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[17 Apr 2003|02:40pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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distressed |
] |
I didn't mean it, really. I can't have.
It's over. Why the hell did I have to go screw things up? I didn't mean it! Why couldn't I have just left it when he said he'd forget I ever said it? Why did I have to go and... fuck, maybe I did mean it. I wouldn't be this upset if I didn't. Would I? I didn't, I can't have, it's too much if I really did mean it and it's over and he said not to come back.
I'll see him in two weeks. Where did the summer go? Two weeks. It's not very long. I won't have it figured out by then. I'll still be sad and confused and I bet he won't notice because he did end it, after all, and...
I left the present he gave me at his house. I wonder what that means.
Sodding wanker, buying me a gift. When he had planned to end it anyhow. What was I doing there, anyway? I can't have thought anything good would have come of shagging Snape. What happened in Venice that made him decide to end it? Why did he seem upset when I told him I didn't mean it?
I didn't mean it. Right. Not at all.
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[05 Apr 2003|04:24pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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confused |
] |
I'm really very confused. Mostly about Severus.
I think I'll have to have a talk with him very soon, but... his stupid house is occupied by stupid somebody else and I really hope it's just a "get away from it all" kind of occupation rather than a shaggy one. And he apologized to me, and he's... well, not somebody who apologizes and stuff, so what does that mean? It's all very confusing, which is why I'm confused.
And then, of course, there's understanding my own part of things, but I won't even try with that because it's simply too much, really. I like him very much, and that is that, as far as I'll go into the matter.
He'd better not be shagging anybody else.
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[30 Mar 2003|12:53am] |
| [ |
mood |
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confused |
] |
[private]Severus is... Proserpina. Not Severus=proserpina, but Severus/Proserpina. I was under no delusions that... anything, it's just that I really like him. And he quite obviously thinks I exist solely for the purpose of sex. Which is fine with me, but not preferable. Better than nothing, though. I think. [/private]
I really really need to talk to James. He's the person that understands the most... or is most willing to listen, rather. Which is decidedly better than Sirius, who...
Nevermind Sirius. James will have something to say on the matter that isn't... that's logical.
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| *smirk* |
[23 Mar 2003|11:54am] |
| [ |
mood |
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content |
] |
Well, that was an amazing interesting night.
I think that git may be right. I've a streak of Slytherin in me.
James, sorry about waking you. Really. Truly.
[Private]
I just got laid.
That means I've had sex.
Heh. Heh. Heheheh.[/private]
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| Private. |
[20 Mar 2003|10:16pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 embarrassed |
] |
I have a bit of a crush on a boy.
A slimy gross attractive boy.
I wonder how he'd look in toe socks...
I need to go find James's houskeeper. Now. Yesterday, she kissed my cheek. I think I may be getting somewhere with her.
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| How come I never get laid? |
[18 Mar 2003|07:24pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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confused |
] |
Peter the perpetual virgin. Forever. Though I supose that makes sense, as perpetual is like always. That would be me.
It's not FAIR. Sirius gets laid all the time, and now James is some sorta ladykiller, and everybody KNOWS Lily wants into Remus's pants. And no girls want me. The only person worse with women than I am is sexaygilday. Which doesn't give me much of an advantage.
I'm staying at James's house. And his houskeeper is hot. I think she likes me, she brought me water this morning. She didn't bring anybody ELSE water. She's very nice. And sweet. I hope she doesn't mind the voice thing.
James had some really awesome socks on last night... toesocks. They were very sexy nice. I really like them, they make him look very dashing stylish. I really must get some for myself.
I was upset Snape wasn't around. It would have been fun to terrorize him. Yes. Terrorize. Not anything else I wonder what his feet would look like in toeso
I'm done now.
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